The booklet “The art of conflict – learning to stir up and calm down conflicts“ by Klaus Eidenschink seems particularly important to me because it brings calm to an emotionally charged topic. Eidenschink removes emotions from the conflict – not by ignoring them, but by locating them precisely.
His systems theory approach draws attention to the fact that conflicts are not simply “made”, but have a life of their own: A conflict as a social event develops stability, contour, its own form, which often tries to maintain itself.
He convincingly shows how we can diagnose conflict dimensions using a systematic, schematic approach. Strict differentiation between factual, social and temporal issues allows for a clear structure.
Within these three dimensions, he differentiates between individual modes: for example, he recognizes whether a conflict is generalized – for example with a statement such as “You always ignore me!” – or whether it remains specific, such as “I didn’t write to you last night”.
At first glance, this schematic precision seems cerebral, but it is usually pragmatic in its application: there are usually only a few aspects where a conflict has become entrenched. If a coach or conflict party works specifically on these points, the conflict can often be defused or even resolved.
The author describes himself as a wanderer between professional and theoretical worlds, inspired by systems theory, psychology, philosophy and coaching practice. His motivation for writing this book is based on the experience of recurring conflictual patterns in his own biography and the question of how much energy people invest in stressful dialogs without any results. Eidenschink wants to develop an understanding that does not fight conflicts, but uses and shapes them – as necessary social phenomena whose functions we can consciously shape.
If you would like to know how we can use this tool to defuse conflicts, I would be happy to talk to you personally.